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Saturday, January 06, 2007

CD15: Welcome Back Mr. Needle

JS said that a friend of hers lost a tremendous amount of weight doing acupuncture. So in light of the 10 or so pounds that I've gained since our FET in September, I've started up acupunture again. Today was my first day back.

I told them that I needed to be treated for weight loss, infertility, and low back pain from my sacroillitis. What was my mood? Stressed and depressed. My tongue? Pale. Deep pulse. Resting beat? 68. Low blood pressure as usual. Low hematocrit. Diagnosis: My liver is screwed up. Kudos to the acupuncturists for getting the Dx right. The Abx that I am on are known for fucking with the liver. I'm tellin' ya. There is something to Chinese medicine that western medicine just doesn't get.

Dr. L always teases me that when I've been away for a while that I seem to complain about the needles hurting more than normal. Today was no exception. She stood tableside and directed the two students where to place the needles. One male student, one female. I let the students do the needles because they're less expensive. They're always very friendly and they genuinely want to help. $100 buys me 5 sessions. Can't argue with that. They're eager to please their clinic supervisor so they're very very careful. They check and doublecheck their placement. Only after Dr. L says okay do they stick the needles in. I'm assured but I'm happy when they're done.

I'm near convinced that many acupuncture spots are places that we westerners would consider "funny bone" locations. Places where if you applied pressure you'd simultaneously withdraw and react as though someone was dragging their nails across a chalkboard. Maybe that gives you the feeling I'm going for.

After 13 months of acupuncture I've noticed a trend: male students really hammer the needles in further than the females. I particularly dislike when they put needles in my lower knee area or in my ankle. Those areas give me the willies. But that's the location that the man was assigned to. And he jammed them in far. I gasped a few times. He'd ask if I was okay, and then he'd twirl them in deeper. Get to those meridian lines.

Free the qi.

Yeah, I know the drill.

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