Egg Retrieval Day
Today was our egg retrieval day. I barely slept all night...awoke at 5am to whatever it is that lives in our attic and layed in bed imagining how many rat traps I'd have to put up there to kill the blessed thing that dared to disturb my sleep night after night. One of the reasons we moved into this house was the noise at the other house. It was constant. Now we have a rat that is constantly chewing on the rafters above. Ick, ick, ick.
In my paranoia about missing our 9:30am appointment with Dr. Z, I set 7 alarms: the one next to the bed, three on my phone, three on my ironman watch. They started going off at 6am but I was already wide awake, having plotted the demise of the attic rat for nearly an hour. John was amazingly patient and forgiving for my slew of alarms and he rose, showered, and dressed without much prodding on my part. I was relieved.
By 7:25am we were out the door and on our way. 5 minutes earlier than I had hoped for. The traffic person on the radio said there was a 12 car pile up on 280 just north of our destination. I panicked. They claimed that it had been "cleared" but my first thought has that the damned "rubber neckers" would probably cause the traffic to back up for miles before that. We drove on, me with my Thomas Guide map on my lap the entire way, keeping an eye out for possible escape routes off of the freeway.
We arrived right about 9am, which made me glad we'd left so damned early. I'm constantly early, or on time, and J is perpetually late. Kind of like J and D's marriage. She's always on time, and he is always late. As couples we both wind up deferring to the partner who is late. It can be a point of frustration and embarrassment. But not today. We were ontime for once in our lives.
J ordered breakfast from the downstairs restaurant, and I tried to keep my mind from running amuk over how many eggs they would recover. Playing imaginary tapes of what Dr. Z would say as he conveyed that there were no eggs. The pain from my swollen ovaries helped to keep me from doing that too long, though. After a few minutes, I realized sitting still was futile so I went upstairs and checked in.
My ER was scheduled for 10:30am, but by 10:45 the good doc had still not arrived. He was still performing an U/S on someone upstairs who had no idea I was a floor below, stressing on my gurney. I told the anesthesiologist, "My eggs surely have popped by now." He laughed and said that in all of his years working, it was very rare for that to ever happen. Even one of the other nurses said I probably had another 4 hours left before they did it on their own. I was somewhat relieved. Dr. Z arrived a few minutes later, cheery and upbeat as usual. I wondered, "How on earth is he so constantly positive?" I've yet to see him frazzled. I faded out and came to only remembering him saying something about my having to be on reduced fluids for 5 days. I feel back asleep for probably an hour or so. What nice nap that was.
About 1, Dr. Z came by and told the patients next to us that they had recovered 7 eggs in her right ovary and none in the other. I remember Nurse J saying that someone with 9 follicles was scheduled before me. So they didn't get 2 of their 9. Not too bad. He next swung by our gurney. Still upbeat and positive, and with excellent bedside manner. Hard to imagine how he stays so positive considering he never takes a day off of work.
No beating around the bush. He came right out and said, "We got 10 of the 12." I was elated but still pined for the two that got away. I felt greedy even wishing for them considering I had more than the other two ladies who were also doing their ER this very day. I had visions, for days, of him coming to me and saying something on the order of, "I am very sorry but we weren't able to retrive ANY eggs. Are you sure that you administered the HCG correctly?" or some other horrible thing. But no sooner than we heard what we considered good news, my mind turned directly to, "I wonder how many will fertilize!!!???" It is uncanny how one's mind turns from one thing to the next. We put our ducks of worry in a row and we go after them one by one.
One thing that does concern me truly is that I hope that I have eaten enough calcium since I started on my heparin. My instructions said to eat 1g of calcium in addition to my prenatals, but how much calcium is in a prenatal? They all vary so much. Some have 200mg, some have 1200mg. Mine have 1000mg and I get some extra calcium in other supplements that I eat, but was it enough? One nurse said to me that I should get 1200mg a day total. If she is right I'm doing okay. But if that was what my prenatal, alone, should have, then I am in trouble. I really do not know how much is required for optimum egg development but, of course I have convinced myself that I was lacking. Another worry duck. I could kick myself for not having eaten more of the stuff. It also didn't help that the instructions didn't just say, "Make sure you're getting 1200mg overall calcium" and not even mention the "in addition to your prenatal" part. Another thing my mind has set me up to worry about. See? I've got my worry ducks all in a row. One after the other.
Tomorrow between 10am and 12pm we are to call the office and find out how many of our eggs fertilized. More worry. I am truly frightened to make that telephone call. I am so fearful that they will say, "We are so sorry. But nothing fertilized. Perhaps you'll have better luck in your next cycle". But if they do have good news tomorrow, I'll again be elated for a few short seconds while my mind turns to a new worry, for on Sunday we'll find out how many of the fertilized eggs made it to become day 3 blastocysts (or are they morulas at this point? I forget). Then I'll get to worry over the impending beta test. Then the NK Assay test and possible IVIg. Then the U/S for the heart. Then the amniocentesis or CV tests. It won't stop. I'll always have something to worry about. This is the beginning of a lifetime of worry.
My mother warned me that parenting would mean this. Constant worry.
And I didn't listen.
In my paranoia about missing our 9:30am appointment with Dr. Z, I set 7 alarms: the one next to the bed, three on my phone, three on my ironman watch. They started going off at 6am but I was already wide awake, having plotted the demise of the attic rat for nearly an hour. John was amazingly patient and forgiving for my slew of alarms and he rose, showered, and dressed without much prodding on my part. I was relieved.
By 7:25am we were out the door and on our way. 5 minutes earlier than I had hoped for. The traffic person on the radio said there was a 12 car pile up on 280 just north of our destination. I panicked. They claimed that it had been "cleared" but my first thought has that the damned "rubber neckers" would probably cause the traffic to back up for miles before that. We drove on, me with my Thomas Guide map on my lap the entire way, keeping an eye out for possible escape routes off of the freeway.
We arrived right about 9am, which made me glad we'd left so damned early. I'm constantly early, or on time, and J is perpetually late. Kind of like J and D's marriage. She's always on time, and he is always late. As couples we both wind up deferring to the partner who is late. It can be a point of frustration and embarrassment. But not today. We were ontime for once in our lives.
J ordered breakfast from the downstairs restaurant, and I tried to keep my mind from running amuk over how many eggs they would recover. Playing imaginary tapes of what Dr. Z would say as he conveyed that there were no eggs. The pain from my swollen ovaries helped to keep me from doing that too long, though. After a few minutes, I realized sitting still was futile so I went upstairs and checked in.
My ER was scheduled for 10:30am, but by 10:45 the good doc had still not arrived. He was still performing an U/S on someone upstairs who had no idea I was a floor below, stressing on my gurney. I told the anesthesiologist, "My eggs surely have popped by now." He laughed and said that in all of his years working, it was very rare for that to ever happen. Even one of the other nurses said I probably had another 4 hours left before they did it on their own. I was somewhat relieved. Dr. Z arrived a few minutes later, cheery and upbeat as usual. I wondered, "How on earth is he so constantly positive?" I've yet to see him frazzled. I faded out and came to only remembering him saying something about my having to be on reduced fluids for 5 days. I feel back asleep for probably an hour or so. What nice nap that was.
About 1, Dr. Z came by and told the patients next to us that they had recovered 7 eggs in her right ovary and none in the other. I remember Nurse J saying that someone with 9 follicles was scheduled before me. So they didn't get 2 of their 9. Not too bad. He next swung by our gurney. Still upbeat and positive, and with excellent bedside manner. Hard to imagine how he stays so positive considering he never takes a day off of work.
No beating around the bush. He came right out and said, "We got 10 of the 12." I was elated but still pined for the two that got away. I felt greedy even wishing for them considering I had more than the other two ladies who were also doing their ER this very day. I had visions, for days, of him coming to me and saying something on the order of, "I am very sorry but we weren't able to retrive ANY eggs. Are you sure that you administered the HCG correctly?" or some other horrible thing. But no sooner than we heard what we considered good news, my mind turned directly to, "I wonder how many will fertilize!!!???" It is uncanny how one's mind turns from one thing to the next. We put our ducks of worry in a row and we go after them one by one.
One thing that does concern me truly is that I hope that I have eaten enough calcium since I started on my heparin. My instructions said to eat 1g of calcium in addition to my prenatals, but how much calcium is in a prenatal? They all vary so much. Some have 200mg, some have 1200mg. Mine have 1000mg and I get some extra calcium in other supplements that I eat, but was it enough? One nurse said to me that I should get 1200mg a day total. If she is right I'm doing okay. But if that was what my prenatal, alone, should have, then I am in trouble. I really do not know how much is required for optimum egg development but, of course I have convinced myself that I was lacking. Another worry duck. I could kick myself for not having eaten more of the stuff. It also didn't help that the instructions didn't just say, "Make sure you're getting 1200mg overall calcium" and not even mention the "in addition to your prenatal" part. Another thing my mind has set me up to worry about. See? I've got my worry ducks all in a row. One after the other.
Tomorrow between 10am and 12pm we are to call the office and find out how many of our eggs fertilized. More worry. I am truly frightened to make that telephone call. I am so fearful that they will say, "We are so sorry. But nothing fertilized. Perhaps you'll have better luck in your next cycle". But if they do have good news tomorrow, I'll again be elated for a few short seconds while my mind turns to a new worry, for on Sunday we'll find out how many of the fertilized eggs made it to become day 3 blastocysts (or are they morulas at this point? I forget). Then I'll get to worry over the impending beta test. Then the NK Assay test and possible IVIg. Then the U/S for the heart. Then the amniocentesis or CV tests. It won't stop. I'll always have something to worry about. This is the beginning of a lifetime of worry.
My mother warned me that parenting would mean this. Constant worry.
And I didn't listen.
Labels: IVF1
posted by linda at 2:09 AM
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