Where Did The Time Go?
Two nights ago I telephoned, CR, a very dear old friend. She is someone who I was very close to up until 7 years ago when I moved to the SillyCon Valley. The distance has made it hard to stay in touch as they are just not "online" people. I had met her husband, KR in 1993. I remember the year because it was the year I got my real estate license. KR was a sheriff's deputy and so was my BF at that time. I remember the day we met. My deputy went to the R's house and the deputy's sat in the garage with their guns and beer. (You're thinking: "Guns and alcohol don't mix!" Honestly, I haven't met a single cop that believes that one). It was a blazingly hot summer day and I was working as a real estate agent. I showed up in my own car. Over beers we all became close friends.
A year or two after befriending this couple, the husband found that his wife had cheated on him and he had pressured her to leave. (Ironic because, after knowing him for a few years I discovered that it was HE who was the one carrying on the clandestine affairs and his whole charade of punishing her, for the same thing he was doing, was pathetic at best). Being a close family friend, and recently parted from my deputy BF, who I had caught cheating on me with the Sheriff department's "blood nurse", I moved into the R household and became an instant Au Pair.
Their three children were young. The oldest a boy, was in 3rd grade or so. The middle girl, just starting kindergarden. And the youngest, little M, my sweet pea, she was barely a toddler when I took over the household. I think it had to be 1994 or 1995 when I moved in with them. I was a post grad student at the local community college right down the street and I was taking courses to get my fanny into medical school. It was a perfect arrangement as my physics & bio courses were in the AM after the two older kids went to school, and my chemistry courses were in the evenings.
At this point in my life, I didn't think that I would ever have children. I'd had no less than three relationships, all long term, that had led no where. The first one isn't worth mentioning. The second, CD, I was engaged to. I actually wanted to have children with him like nobody's business. I even used to secretly plot to poke holes in our condoms so that he'd let me have a child. The third was the Deputy. The only one I'd thought of having children with was CD and CD and I parted in 1989 or 1990, so by the time I stumbled into the R household, the idea of raising children had long left my psyche.
I don't really recall how long it was that I took care of the children. One day CR had come back to visit. She and KR were on the verge of reconciling. Some chaos ensued over the dinner table that evening and little M cried out,
"I WANT NINAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"*
CR realized at that point that her youngest had bonded a bit too closely to me and she moved back home rather quickly after that. I stayed on for a short while but when a young couple across the street mentioned to me that they had a room that they were looking to rent out I moved out. I wasn't really needed anymore by that point except for the occasional night or morning.
But I stayed close to the R family for years to come.
So I've been meaning to telephone CR. I think of her and the kids often and somehow I just never pick up the phone. But I finally did it. I called her two nights ago. She seemed so happy to have heard from me. Said my last card to them was still on the refrigerator. The child have been asking where I'm at, how they can write to me, etc, etc.
And here is where my jaw dropped.
The oldest boy is now at one of the Cal State colleges. I think he's been there for a couple years as the middle girl, BR, is a freshman at a college in Idaho. They were a couple years apart so the oldest, the boy, must be a junior or senior by now. And my little M? My sweet pea? She's a freshman in high school. Her mother says that she has "long blonde hair just like you".
How did my little sweet pea go from saying "Nina*...more powder!!" when I was changing her diapers, to a freshman in high school?
I missed her first crush. Her first date. Her first dance. I miss her so much. She may be the closest thing to a daughter that I'll ever have. I think I just realized that...in the 11th hour.
Where did the time go?
I do know that when this cycle is done, I will be making a trip down there to see my sweet pea and her family the first chance that I get.
*M couldn't say my name, Linda, so I became "Nina" to her and the rest of the family.
A year or two after befriending this couple, the husband found that his wife had cheated on him and he had pressured her to leave. (Ironic because, after knowing him for a few years I discovered that it was HE who was the one carrying on the clandestine affairs and his whole charade of punishing her, for the same thing he was doing, was pathetic at best). Being a close family friend, and recently parted from my deputy BF, who I had caught cheating on me with the Sheriff department's "blood nurse", I moved into the R household and became an instant Au Pair.
Their three children were young. The oldest a boy, was in 3rd grade or so. The middle girl, just starting kindergarden. And the youngest, little M, my sweet pea, she was barely a toddler when I took over the household. I think it had to be 1994 or 1995 when I moved in with them. I was a post grad student at the local community college right down the street and I was taking courses to get my fanny into medical school. It was a perfect arrangement as my physics & bio courses were in the AM after the two older kids went to school, and my chemistry courses were in the evenings.
At this point in my life, I didn't think that I would ever have children. I'd had no less than three relationships, all long term, that had led no where. The first one isn't worth mentioning. The second, CD, I was engaged to. I actually wanted to have children with him like nobody's business. I even used to secretly plot to poke holes in our condoms so that he'd let me have a child. The third was the Deputy. The only one I'd thought of having children with was CD and CD and I parted in 1989 or 1990, so by the time I stumbled into the R household, the idea of raising children had long left my psyche.
I don't really recall how long it was that I took care of the children. One day CR had come back to visit. She and KR were on the verge of reconciling. Some chaos ensued over the dinner table that evening and little M cried out,
"I WANT NINAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"*
CR realized at that point that her youngest had bonded a bit too closely to me and she moved back home rather quickly after that. I stayed on for a short while but when a young couple across the street mentioned to me that they had a room that they were looking to rent out I moved out. I wasn't really needed anymore by that point except for the occasional night or morning.
But I stayed close to the R family for years to come.
So I've been meaning to telephone CR. I think of her and the kids often and somehow I just never pick up the phone. But I finally did it. I called her two nights ago. She seemed so happy to have heard from me. Said my last card to them was still on the refrigerator. The child have been asking where I'm at, how they can write to me, etc, etc.
And here is where my jaw dropped.
The oldest boy is now at one of the Cal State colleges. I think he's been there for a couple years as the middle girl, BR, is a freshman at a college in Idaho. They were a couple years apart so the oldest, the boy, must be a junior or senior by now. And my little M? My sweet pea? She's a freshman in high school. Her mother says that she has "long blonde hair just like you".
How did my little sweet pea go from saying "Nina*...more powder!!" when I was changing her diapers, to a freshman in high school?
I missed her first crush. Her first date. Her first dance. I miss her so much. She may be the closest thing to a daughter that I'll ever have. I think I just realized that...in the 11th hour.
Where did the time go?
I do know that when this cycle is done, I will be making a trip down there to see my sweet pea and her family the first chance that I get.
*M couldn't say my name, Linda, so I became "Nina" to her and the rest of the family.
Labels: IVF3 Take 1
posted by linda at 7:47 PM
Comments on "Where Did The Time Go?"
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JW said ... (5:27 PM) :
post a commentAw Linda, thats a sweet story. Its nice that you're going to see them. Kids definitely have that way of getting under our skin and staying there, and I really hope this cycle works and that you get your very own little sweetpea very soon.