CD 2:
Baseline U/S
Well, let's cut to the chase.
It's not great news.
3 antrals on the right. 4 or 5 on the left. She did a really quick count, but honestly there wasn't much to see. It's the worst antral count of my life. Worst. IVF cycle 1? 12. IVF cycle 2? 15. Enough to freeze even when all was said and done. IVF cycle 3? 12. (But this one ended with me having 7 follicles three days before retrieval after 2 months of lupron put my ovaries and follies to sleep).
It's all pants.
In my usual "take charge" manner I said, "Should we just cancel and start again next month?"
They did bloodwork for E2 and Dr. Private said that there's only like a 2% chance they'd cancel me at this point. I'd get a call by 4:30PM if I was to be canceled, but seeing that it's 4:25PM, my money is that this cycle is a go.
Fuck.
I'm nervous about having so few fucking follicles. Are we wasting money? Is this is as good as it gets at my age? Will I never see another antral count of 12?
What the fuck?
It takes 4 months for antrals to be recruited. It's July 20th. So these measly 7 or 8 follicles were predestined to be "the ones" for this cycle on or about March 20. This is at the end of my weight loss free-for-all. So would they be affected by that? My guess is "no". The weight loss had already happened.
Were they affected by the lingering lupron surging through my body?
I even asked if the DHEA I've been popping could have caused a problem but the doctor said there's no evidence that it does anything at all. (Hasn't she seen the Chicago study? Or do they just question it's validity completely?)
Ladies...any suggestions for why this antral count is so depressingly low? Reasons besides age, that is. I know I'm old, thankyouvermuch. I know antral counts fluctuate up and down. Like FSH does. But my FSH hit an all time low of 5.6 last month and I've never had anything lower than 10 at an antral count.
J and I talked a bit on the long drive home. I'll go ahead and stim til next Friday's ultrasound, and we can cancel at that time if it just looks FUBAR. Sure we'll eat the cost of the drugs ($900 this cycle thanks to the good ladies at FGS.com). But that's nothing compared to the $8700 that we'd eat if we didn't cancel in time.
I don't know where this cycle is going to end up. I sort of feel like I don't trust my gut reaction or instincts anymore. I do think I've got a great team of doctors and maybe for once, just for once, I'll put my trust in them and let them drive. It's just too stressful freaking out over every single detail. I said "maybe" though. There's no telling what I'll be doing and saying after the evil lupron is surging through my body.
More as it happens...a bientot.
It's not great news.
3 antrals on the right. 4 or 5 on the left. She did a really quick count, but honestly there wasn't much to see. It's the worst antral count of my life. Worst. IVF cycle 1? 12. IVF cycle 2? 15. Enough to freeze even when all was said and done. IVF cycle 3? 12. (But this one ended with me having 7 follicles three days before retrieval after 2 months of lupron put my ovaries and follies to sleep).
It's all pants.
In my usual "take charge" manner I said, "Should we just cancel and start again next month?"
They did bloodwork for E2 and Dr. Private said that there's only like a 2% chance they'd cancel me at this point. I'd get a call by 4:30PM if I was to be canceled, but seeing that it's 4:25PM, my money is that this cycle is a go.
Fuck.
I'm nervous about having so few fucking follicles. Are we wasting money? Is this is as good as it gets at my age? Will I never see another antral count of 12?
What the fuck?
It takes 4 months for antrals to be recruited. It's July 20th. So these measly 7 or 8 follicles were predestined to be "the ones" for this cycle on or about March 20. This is at the end of my weight loss free-for-all. So would they be affected by that? My guess is "no". The weight loss had already happened.
Were they affected by the lingering lupron surging through my body?
I even asked if the DHEA I've been popping could have caused a problem but the doctor said there's no evidence that it does anything at all. (Hasn't she seen the Chicago study? Or do they just question it's validity completely?)
Ladies...any suggestions for why this antral count is so depressingly low? Reasons besides age, that is. I know I'm old, thankyouvermuch. I know antral counts fluctuate up and down. Like FSH does. But my FSH hit an all time low of 5.6 last month and I've never had anything lower than 10 at an antral count.
J and I talked a bit on the long drive home. I'll go ahead and stim til next Friday's ultrasound, and we can cancel at that time if it just looks FUBAR. Sure we'll eat the cost of the drugs ($900 this cycle thanks to the good ladies at FGS.com). But that's nothing compared to the $8700 that we'd eat if we didn't cancel in time.
I don't know where this cycle is going to end up. I sort of feel like I don't trust my gut reaction or instincts anymore. I do think I've got a great team of doctors and maybe for once, just for once, I'll put my trust in them and let them drive. It's just too stressful freaking out over every single detail. I said "maybe" though. There's no telling what I'll be doing and saying after the evil lupron is surging through my body.
More as it happens...a bientot.
Labels: IVF3 Take 3, The Hell that IVF Is
posted by linda at 7:06 PM
Comments on "CD 2:
Baseline U/S"
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Thalia said ... (4:01 AM) :
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Knock Me Up said ... (10:28 AM) :
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linda said ... (11:42 AM) :
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Rising Rainbow said ... (3:31 PM) :
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linda said ... (4:48 AM) :
post a commentThere have been other DHEA studies, sorry I don't have the details, which showed absolutely no effect, in fact a negative effect on those who were taking DHEA, to the extent that they cancelled the study early as there was felt to be a strong disadvantage to being on DHEA. So I'd say the evidence was mixed, at best.
Re FSH, unfortunately as you get older it becomes a less and less good indicator of response. Mine's never been above 7.6 and I've had 6, 9 and 14 eggs retrieved, mostly varying with length of stim and dose of stim, no correlation to the fsh at the beginning of the cycle. My understanding is that AMH would give you a better read, but I've never had it done.
Personally, I'd just go with this cycle, you've waited for months and it doesn't look any better. 6 good eggs would be a good result, honestly - it would at least get you going on treatment after a long break.
I've got nothing for assvice. But I would probably do what you are doing -- go to Friday and re-evaluate.
I'll be hoping the follicles kick in. I've been told most cycles that I have 9 antrals and I usually end up with 11 growing follicles as we get close to ER. So, is it possible they just aren't seeing everything yet?
Take care and hang in there until Friday.
Thalia,
If you come across the study, please shoot me a link. I wonder what circumstances lead to a negative result?
I'm not in this first hand so you can take what I say with a grain of salt or whatever. But my son and his wife went through all of it and I remember how desperate they were. So I understand what this means to you.
With that being said, your biggest enemy here is stress! It doesn't matter how many of anything you have if you are so stressed that your body can't do what it's supposed to.
All of your worrying and fretting are working against you whether you know it or not. The best thing you can do for yourself at this point is to "relax."
I know that's easier said than done and you probably want to strangle me about now BUT believe me stress really is your biggest enemy in your quest.
The best way to deal with stress is to quit looking so far down the road (leave that to your doctors) and just take your life one little minute at a time. Look for the joy in those minutes and don't let the sorrows swallow you up. Live each minute for all it's worth and don't get caught up in the "what ifs" Try to stop and smell the roses!
If you can minimize your stress, you'll not only have better days but you'll give your body a fair shot at doing what mother nature intended for it to do.
ps My son and daughter-in-law finally gave up after spending everything they had to spend and hocking everything they had to hock and nearly destroying their marriage.
Four years later when their lives were finally getting back on an even keel and the stress from the whole adventure was behind them, they got pregnant. Eleven months later they got pregnant again and ten months after that they got pregnant again. Yes, that means they had 3 children in less than 3 years.
By the time the third child was born, they decided maybe they should be practicing some birth control because what the doctors said could never happen seems to be happening quite well. But it wasn't until the stress was gone.
Thanks for your good wishes and for stopping by, but reduction of stress isn't a cure for infertility.
Infertility is a disease that manifests itself in many ways. In my case, I have no fallopian tubes...so it simply doesn't matter how much stress I have or don't have: I can't get pregnant without IVF.
I know you have the best of intentions in stopping by and sharing your son and daughter's plight. I know something of what they went though and am sorry that your life, too, was touched by this beast called infertility.