Stim Day 7Cycle Going Bad

Today was my first monitoring U/S with Dr. Italian. The results were dismal.

One large 18mm follicle on the left side, two or three smaller (12mm, 9mm, etc). And NOTHING on the right side save for a few endometriomas.

It's bad. Real bad. It's my fucking age and it's also the endometriomas. But it might also be that I'm on 600iu of Gonal-F which is more than I've ever been on so I might be overstimmed. I get my E2 & prolactin results tomorrow. If we're over 3000 on the E2 then we KNOW that I'm overstimmed. Prolactin was at 14 before I started stims. It'll be interesting to see where it is now. I've got an old bottle of bromocriptine in the armoire that I can pull out if necessary.

So he said that I don't really have time to be choosy about cycles at my age (45) and that we should proceed with the cycle. I agree. If it weren't for the fact that I'm doing a sclerotherapy on my ovary during this retrieval, I'd cancel this cycle and try again in January. But doing the sclerotherapy means that I wouldn't have there wouldn't be enough time for my ovaries to heal between now and the January cohort anyways. I'd be looking at a February cycle date. So it's February for the next cycle no matter how we slice it. No pun intended.

So I'm reluctantly moving forward.

I don't expect a damned thing to be retrieved at this rate but what else can I do at this point?

Next time I'll reduce Gonal-F to 450iu on my own as I know that in my case, "less is more". I hate having to self-medicate but it really pisses me off when our RE's don't listen to us. After 5 actual IVF cycles, and many "tries" (ie, cancelled cycles) I KNOW better than any doctor how I am going to respond to the meds. I'll also be asking for hGH.

Last cycle I lost ALL of the follicles on my right ovary when I started taking the ganirelex. I wouldn't be surprised if it happens again and I lose them all this time.

All I know is that I want to pour myself a huge glass of red wine tonight and chalk it up to a failed cycle. It makes me so sad that a few years ago I was churning out 10 and 15 follicles/eggs a cycle.

Now THIS?

Fuck!!!!!