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Sunday, February 28, 2010

6DP5DT: This Party Might be Over

Couldn't sleep - it's 5AM and I woke up feeling really warm, overheating despite having the window cracked open (there is snow outside folks), and then I started to THINK. That always does me in. Thinking.

It's early Sunday morning, 6DP5DT. Two nights ago (4PD5DT), on Friday, I had some very familiar cramps - deep stabbing uterine cramps just above my pelvic bone, that lasted all of 10 seconds. They were much like those I felt during my first IVF cycle on 4DP3DT (7 day old embryos). This cycle and that cycle are the only two times I've felt this particular type of uterine pain in my entire life and let's say that it was so intense that it's not something one would easily forget. That first cycle my beta was 2. My RE at that time said I might have had very early implantation failure. I'll never know for sure if he was trying to give me SOME sort of hope with that comment or what but it was potentially my only close call with a possible pregnancy in the years I've been trying.

I recall reading from Dr. B's notes (my Reproductive Immunologist) that he felt that this deep stabbing pain is often a symptom of the body attacking an embryo that has or has tried to take root.

On part of Thursday and all Friday I felt crampy like AF was coming. My uterus felt heavy, crampy, I had sore breasts, and since late Friday night, it's all disappeared. It's all gone. Yesterday, Saturday, not a twinge. Nothing. It's as though this cycle never started.

It's weird, but I think that this cycle with one blast nearly worked...I truly believe it tried to implant...but I feel that it is now gone. I think that something seriously happened on Friday night. The timing was right, too. Transfer was Monday, hatching would have happened Tuesday night or Wednesday morning and implantation should have happened shortly thereafter. The timing was spot on.

Just in case, just last night, I added in another 200mg of progesterone to give whatever might be there a last chance help. I think I should have done this Friday night, not last night, but I also didn't want to mess with my lining just yet.

My RE only has me on 50mg of PIO plus another 50mg in a supp (along with 50mg of E2). 100mg isn't much at all (my RI insists on 200mg MINIMUM) so I don't feel I'm being the least bit risky pushing this to 300mg a day or higher. 400mg would do me just fine too.

Anyways, I hate to be such a pessimist, and I know that you'll yell at me to wait for my beta before reserving judgment but I think that this cycle is done for. I'm not even going off of anything I've seen on a HPT either. I know it would be too early for anything to show there. I'm just going on what I feel.

I know it sounds crazy, but I am really in touch with my body's little quirks and symptoms. When I've had ovarian cysts, I've known it before the U/S found it. I can feel when I ovulate (mittleschmirz). I know when I have a cyst at the beginning of a cycle. My nether regions are really sensitive, unlike my mother's, who swears she didn't have a clue she was pregnant with me until she was out of her first trimester.

I'm bummed. I'm going to keep taking my P4 capsules (200-400mg/day plus the 50mg P4/E2 supps) but I think that I'm taking enough this that I can just skip the 50mg/day of PIO now. My hips hurt really bad from the shots and just last night I read about a gal over on FT.com who developed CYSTS in her bumm from the damned shots. Apparently the oil never absorbed in a few spots where her hubby shot too deeply (how the hell can you shoot this stuff too deeply? The freaking needle is ONE AND A HALF INCHES LONG!) and it just sat there forming pockets of old oil. Ick, ick, ick. I have to say I AM NOT SURPRISED. They found the cysts on an U/S after she complained of pain. They drained them under ultrasound guidance. I think she had at least 6 of them.

So I'm not concerned about flying at this point. I laid low Monday through Friday last week - actually did bed rest on Monday and near bed rest the next two days. I'm hopping a plane to California tomorrow morning and I'll do my beta there (and dollars to donuts it's LOW, really LOW). My new job starts on the 8th and I'm going to take a week off to see my friends and my mom.

Peace out.

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Comments on "6DP5DT: This Party Might be Over"

 

Blogger Julize said ... (1:54 PM) : 

Linda--I'm so sorry. What you're describing is EXACTLY what happens to me, from the sore breasts and that heavy, crampy feeling (I also get queasy) to the horrible stabbing cramps (like nothing else I've ever experienced) after which all the symptoms go away.

Did you do steroids or IVIG or intralipids this cycle? It wasn't until I did LIT and IVIG that I finally stopped having the stabbing cramps. I still get the same early PG symptoms some months, but now they just seem to fade away after a few days. Sometimes I get a faint line, but never anything more. I'm not sure if it's an egg quality issue, a Beta-3 Integrin issue, or some still unaddressed immune problem, so my strategy at this point is to throw everything I've got at all three issues and hope something sticks.

Hang in there! The good news is it sounds like you still have some good eggs left in there, which is awesome.

 

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