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Saturday, October 28, 2006

CD27: Fired by Dr. Moustache

I guess it was inevitable.

I asked questions. I didn't trust him 100%, but then I don't trust ANYONE 100%.

This last time I actually went so far as to attach a few studies to my last email when I asked whether or not a long lupron protocol might be suitable for me since I have severe endometriosis. Two IVFs and a FET later, one would think that it would be NORMAL to ask questions. I honestly thought that I had been neutral in my my most recent email. I was careful to not demand answers or to lay blame, but merely to pose the question: "Can you please tell us how this sort of protocol works?" (ie, the long lupron protocol).

But I guess it was too much for Dr. Moustache, because today he off and fired me. I'm torn between wondering if he officially cut me loose because I was ruining his stats? Or was it that he just didn't have time to answer a few meager questions? (Honestly, I don't really don't write to him THAT much. I know patients of his that barrage him with emails. Oh, but they got pregnant. Hmm...maybe that's the difference?) But part of me wonders if his ego is just so big that he can't stand the fact that I asked questions.

Another friend of mine, AP, was a former patient of Dr. Moustache's. She, too, dared to ask questions. Questions that had merit, questions that anyone would ask after doing PGD and putting in 3 perfect embryos...and *poof*, nothing happened. AP is a VP at a rather well know financial institution and is very poised, articulate, polite...gosh, I can't say enough good things about her. But I cannot for the life of me imagine that any questions she could pose could ever result in her being fired from Moustache Man. But you know. He fired her, too.

So, here's the fated email. You tell me. Can you read in between the lines here? Is there any real reason here for this? I'm baffled. Oh, and of course I'm pissed. As one of my crone friends said to me earlier today, "You should have broken up with him before he broke up with you!!!"

Yep, I'm the dumpee, not the dumper.

Dear ....,

Thank you for your note and the accompanying articles. I have not found this approach particularly advantageous and the side effects are not insignificant.

When we last spoke after your recent frozen cycle, I shared with you that outside of the PGD which I recommended both times, that I had given your fertility problem my best shot.

You had already requested transfer of records for other opinions on your case and I encouraged this after your e-mail implied that you were unhappy about certain additional tests not being offered or discussed.

I would recommend that you seek further opinions in the ... area and also possibly a consultation with Dr. ... in ..... Maybe a new and fresh evaluation of your situation will bring you the success that you so richly deserve.

I have decided not to participate in future IVF cycles with you and we would be happy to send an additional copy of your records directly to you upon receipt of a request signed by both of you.

Sincerely,
Dr. Moustache


Yep, he did suggest PGD, but not in a way that made us understand its importance. We explained to him that although we fully understood the reasons to do PGD NOW that it just wasn't presented in a way that the full impact was impressed upon us.

And his comment about me transferring records? I had them sent to Nova before our "your cycle has failed" conversation. Dr. Moustache took two weeks to talk to us once our cycle had failed. Much too long in my opinion considering the loss we felt. But he was clearly busy doing other things. So in that time I stewed. I cried. I wondered what went wrong.

And I went looking for answers.

So maybe he's pissed that I went looking for answers before he could give me any?

Who knows.

.........................................

Along another note...J and I are heading to NYC tomorrow to visit with Dr. Hungarian. We have an appointment on Monday morning at 8:00 on the Upper East Side. We'll have two days in the city before our appointment and then back again on Monday night. One of our typical whirlwind infertility vacations. This is our first trip together to NYC...we've each been there separately, before, but this will be such a fun trip. I've got our dining excurions mapped out for Saturday night, Sunday breakfast & lunch. In between breakfast and lunch on Sunday we're going to make a trip to the Met to check out the Cezanne and Picasso exhibit.

I think after lunch we'll head to Greenwich Village, SoHo, and a couple other areas I've been dying to visit. My mom moved to Greenwich Village in 1965 or 1966...I am so jealous. That would have been quite a wild time to live there. She was there for a couple of years and then I think she went to Florida. Like me, she's always on the move.

There's just not much time to see everything I want to see...but I'd like to just sit on a bus and check out the different neighborhoods in the city and get an idea of what's what.

So on Monday we see Dr. Hungarian...and he is an ob/gyn that specializes in infectious diseases of the uterus and prostate. He's got some rather interesting theories as to why some of us just have such problems with getting knocked up. Hope he's got some answers for us.

Our plane departs Monday at 6PM, so we have time for breakfast and lunch before heading out. I hope that we do a lot of walking. There are so many good restaurants there that I'm worried I am going to gain weight during our three day trip!

Labels: ,

Comments on "CD27: Fired by Dr. Moustache"

 

Blogger Thalia said ... (8:49 AM) : 

Sorry to hear that. I'm still worried that our docs will fire us, too, particularly after we requested a copy of our records. NO matter how much you want to go somewhere else, it still hurts to have them tell you they don't want you any more. I hope that one of your alternatives is more understanding.

 

Blogger Donna said ... (3:04 PM) : 

I guess I would rather have a doctor tell you that he's done everything he knows and to get a different result you should try someone else, than to stay with a doctor who isn't really doing anything different but is too selfish/afraid/arrogant to let you go. Good luck with the doc in NYC, I am jealous of all your planned activities!

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (8:18 PM) : 

"it's not me it's you..."

He's going on a downward spiral, and I for one can't wait to see the crash and burn.

And no, I'm not a malicious person.

 

Blogger ellie said ... (10:33 PM) : 

Oh, I am sorry to hear your dr. fired you-- I guess the good part of this is that you can move to another place where you get the answers and the respect you deserve. Have fun in NY!!

 

Blogger tonya said ... (1:09 AM) : 

What an ass that man is! I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

I hope you have a great trip to NYC, and I can't wait to hear what the new doc has to say.

Let's find a date to get together when you get back.

 

Blogger Pamplemousse said ... (5:39 PM) : 

I always love to do the hokey tourist bus and see all the parts of the city for orientation. Totally hokey but loads of fun. Have a great time in my fave city!

 

Blogger Sparkle said ... (8:31 PM) : 

Far out, I've never read anything like that before. I've heard of being referred to another specialist - but not being fired.

Hope you have a great trip to NY.

 

Blogger Fertile Soul said ... (11:33 PM) : 

Good riddance, me says, and good luck with the new doctor!

 

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