Lonliness in the Clinic on Retrieval Day
If you've been following me, you know that the worst part of IVF for me isn't the 2WW. It's retrieval day. I'm usually in pain and I'm freaking out about getting to the clinic on time. Although it generally takes me 45 minutes to get from my front door to the clinic on a weekday, the trains don't run as often on weekends...so I gave myself 2 hours to get there today. Good thing I did, too. By the time I stopped by one of my fav bakeries for a "post retrieval treat", I'd only sat in the clinic for about 10 minutes before they called me to go back.
While I sat there waiting, I looked around and took note of all the men sitting in there, waiting on their partners. Many women also had girlfriends there with them. I felt very alone in that moment. No one had made the trek with me to make sure that "I" was OK. "D" was home with his two sons, trying to get a bit of early AM sleep. I realize that this isn't going to be his child, I am using DS and he won't be on the birth certificate, either, so do I really expect that he would be there with me? No, I don't expect it but I wish he would have been. My heart sunk a bit, looking around that room and feeling so incredibly alone in that moment.
I was relieved when they called me back so soon so I could escape being the obvious single woman in the room.
I went into anestheia 45 minutes shy of the 36 hour mark. I always lay on the OR table envisioning the clock ticking just a little too far and my follicles exploding into my body instead of being retrieved. I am thankful that it has never happened to me. Yet. (Running to knock on wood). One of the directors of the clinic did my retrieval today. He was an older doctor...nice...but I've grown to love the lady doctors here and was a bit bummed to get him instead. I think men are rougher with the needle and speculum. I also had a different anesthesiologist and he was a bit harsh with the IV. It was one of the more painful IVs of my life and I have a bunch of red inner arm marks to show for it.
So, I went in with 6 follicles all on the left side and they retrieved 4 eggs. The doctor said that I had empty follicles in the rest of them. I always wonder if they're truly empty or if it's more about technique. I do realize that at my age that they're probably empty but this thing with "empty follicles" didn't start until this year. So it's a new phenomena for me. And a disconcerting one at that.
Anyways, I'm happy for the 4. I won't bitch about the number. I am a lucky woman to be getting 4 at my age.
I treated myself to a massive vanilla French praline and a double gelato after retrieval. I've been without sugar for about six weeks and today I'll enjoy just a bit. Tomorrow it'll be back to the grind of eating healthy and keeping insulin levels on the low side.
While I sat there waiting, I looked around and took note of all the men sitting in there, waiting on their partners. Many women also had girlfriends there with them. I felt very alone in that moment. No one had made the trek with me to make sure that "I" was OK. "D" was home with his two sons, trying to get a bit of early AM sleep. I realize that this isn't going to be his child, I am using DS and he won't be on the birth certificate, either, so do I really expect that he would be there with me? No, I don't expect it but I wish he would have been. My heart sunk a bit, looking around that room and feeling so incredibly alone in that moment.
I was relieved when they called me back so soon so I could escape being the obvious single woman in the room.
I went into anestheia 45 minutes shy of the 36 hour mark. I always lay on the OR table envisioning the clock ticking just a little too far and my follicles exploding into my body instead of being retrieved. I am thankful that it has never happened to me. Yet. (Running to knock on wood). One of the directors of the clinic did my retrieval today. He was an older doctor...nice...but I've grown to love the lady doctors here and was a bit bummed to get him instead. I think men are rougher with the needle and speculum. I also had a different anesthesiologist and he was a bit harsh with the IV. It was one of the more painful IVs of my life and I have a bunch of red inner arm marks to show for it.
So, I went in with 6 follicles all on the left side and they retrieved 4 eggs. The doctor said that I had empty follicles in the rest of them. I always wonder if they're truly empty or if it's more about technique. I do realize that at my age that they're probably empty but this thing with "empty follicles" didn't start until this year. So it's a new phenomena for me. And a disconcerting one at that.
Anyways, I'm happy for the 4. I won't bitch about the number. I am a lucky woman to be getting 4 at my age.
I treated myself to a massive vanilla French praline and a double gelato after retrieval. I've been without sugar for about six weeks and today I'll enjoy just a bit. Tomorrow it'll be back to the grind of eating healthy and keeping insulin levels on the low side.
posted by linda at 3:39 PM
Comments on "Lonliness in the Clinic on Retrieval Day"
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Adele said ... (4:54 PM) :
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Julize said ... (10:28 PM) :
post a comment4 is a great number! At ANY age. That's very good news and I will be thinking good thoughts for your fertilization report tomorrow.
I am also really sorry that you faced ER day alone. It is a hard thing to go through even with someone there to give you support. But I also admire - very much - your tenacity in doing this.
Linda, I'm so sorry you had to go for retrieval all by yourself. I definitely think D should have gone with you. I'm actually surprised the clinic was willing to release you without someone else there? I don't think SIRM does.
Four eggs is a terrific response! Maybe all your dietary efforts are paying off. I haven't been very good in that department here of late.
By the way, Dr. T triggered me with the normal HCG shot in the deltoid, but he also had me take my regular stims that night (750 of Gonal and 75 of Repronex). I'm not sure if that's in line with the UCSF study or not?
Keeping fingers crossed for a great fert report!