CD2: And it begins again

AF started right on time despite that 4 weeks ago both of my ovaries were operated on to remove type 2 endometriomas. Apparently I have very resilient ovaries as they weren't stymied at all from doing their thing and ovulating last month.

I go in for bloodwork and my CD3 ultrasound tomorrow morning. Despite my love for my clinic in NYC, they can't transfer into a surrogate, freezing is too pricey there, and I really feel like I need to try something new in my last few tries. So I've moved on. Maybe not forever, but for now.

I've been trying to collect records from the two clinics that I did cycle with. Dr. Italian's office sent theirs over quickly but interspersed between my records were copies of other patients' records. Oy! I shredded them as it was the only decent thing to do. Some of my records were incomplete. I asked them to resend my records and they said they would do so by email....and so they did and I'm unable to open them. Ugh. One of the records they sent originally was for a pathology report for some wispy material that was found in my uterus last October during a hysteroscopy. The pathology used the ICD code of "9 621.5", which I looked up and found "intrauterine synechiae" as the translation. Googling this, however, gave me a rather shocking deciphering:

Asherman's syndrome

OK. WTF? Seriously? Do I really have Asherman's and my RE didn't let me know? Or is it that ANYTHING taken out of the uterus is defined as Asherman's by the pathologist? I am baffled. As is usually the case, I discovered this after business hours and can't pick up the phone to call anyone and get immediate answers. I hate that feeling of being left hanging with something like this. There's a number for the pathologist on the report but you know that when you call these numbers that they never want to talk to the patient. I think I'll try it anyways tomorrow, just to see how far I can get without them redirecting them back to my doctor.

On the surrogate front, no, I haven't found anyone yet. Everyone I've found has turned out to be inappropriate in one way or another. I found one surrogate in California (the primo state of surrogacy in our country) and she just went through a divorce. I was advised by my clinic to stay away from anyone who has undergone a major life change in the last year (and they did mention divorce as a major life change). She also mentioned that she's taken in a foster child. I know that some people take them in out of the goodness of their heart, but others do it for the money. I am worried that this gal might be doing it for the wrong reasons. Also, she is 45. So a bit long in the tooth (as am I as I am 45).

My other potential surrogate is in Ohio, a fairly friend state as far as surrogacy goes. She wants $25K plus expenses. She doesn't have medical insurance. Ouch. She has, however, carried triplets in the last 3 years or so. I just can't afford the medical insurance on top of her fees though. It winds up adding about $11K just for the premiums, not to mention deductibles.

I met another surrogate online, from Indiana, but it's a state that doesn't recognize surrogacy. She, also, doesn't have insurance. It took me a 2 hour long call with her to find out that she didn't have insurance. It feels like a waste of time some days.

I wrote to a cousin of mine, on my maternal grandmother's side and asked her if there were any girls on that side of the family who might be interested. Sadly, her mother took DES and three out of four of the daughters wound up infertile because of it. The cousin that I asked, one of them. She explained that she went through horrible heartache with her infertility and wound up adopting. I had no idea. I felt so horrible for even bringing it up.

I met with my first cousin's wife who has an older daughter that I thought might be interested. Unbeknownst to me, she found her way into the drug scene, her mother explained. Another one crossed off the list.

I've asked my best friend (who has fibroids and other issues), the wife of a good friend, the wife of a neighbor, the wife of my ex's cousin. Nothing.

I really feel as though I have exhausted the list of people around me which was no small feat. In asking each person I had to retell the story of how I got to where I am now, which as you know isn't the most pleasant thing. But I also had to share something about what I'm going through which isn't fun either. It's a huge favor to ask. I expected to get rejected by most, but not by all. I realize I have to go back to the pool of women on some of the websites and look again.

Oh ... there was one person who sorta of accepted though. My niece, whom I've never met, offered to do it but I am a little afraid to accept her offer. She's whimsical, tatooed, shaved her head and then tattoed it ... seems a bit reckless but maybe I think that only because she's not like me ... but on the other hand she's vegan, open minded, and she's family. I'm not sure that her offer was genuine either. The one person I haven't asked is the half sister that I have who lives in Ohio (who I have never met). How do I ask someone who is family but we've just never made it a point to connect? She has three little girls of her own. She can bear children. I just hate to come out of the woodwork after all these years to ask her this huge favor. I'm not sure that I can do it.

So my focus tonight is on getting through tomorrow's ultrasound...seeing if my ovaries have shut down completely after this last surgery. Praying it's all systems go. Onward and upwards into cycle number nine.