Radar Dropping and Things

I dropped off of the radar for a bit after my last post. Sometimes a bit of a shock is enough for to clam up for a bit. I know, prolific me with nothing to say? Last I wrote, I was on CD2 and I went in for my baseline U/S the next day.

It wasn't great news. My FSH has shot up to 17 (from 9-ish) no doubt due to the surgery to remove the endometriomas - the surgeon was very conservative and removed only the endometrial sacs themselves, but I fear that my ovaries are just as traumatized as they would be after and IVF cycle.

This happens, I know from personal experience: I did IVF cycles 6 and 7 back to back without a month in between - when Dr. Italian tested my FSH before cycle 7 commenced, it had shot up to 33. I freaked. But we still recovered eggs (and another fucked up cycle as he retrieved me too early again). In IVY cycle #8, we had four follicles and transferred 3. So I was back to my old self by IVF #8. FSH does recover if you take a month off. You've gotta give those ovaries a month to recuperate.

So this month, 1 month after surgery, they only found two follicles. One on the right (the side that had completely shut down) and one on the left. That I had one on the right side made me happy - maybe the endometrioma was affecting its ability to do anything? It's hard to know. One measured 3mm and one was 6mm. "So small", I thought.

I left and was quite depressed. Two follicles? I simply couldn't justify doing an IVF cycle this month - bad FSH AND only two follicles. Besides, I only have insurance money left for two more cycles.

I tried to rationalize it a bit more: the adderal that the doc has me on is supposed to increase cell permeability - help toxins move out of cells in my uterus, and help good stuff get in. I've barely been on these meds a month. The nurse that worked for him who finally got pregnant after 7 cycles...she got pregnant with him in cycles 5 and 6 but lost it both times. The 7th stuck (she's now in her second trimester). So it makes me wonder if one needs to be on this medication longer in order for it to reach it's full potential (like the 3 or 4 months that it takes for DHEA to affect egg quality and quantity)? I still haven't located a surrogate, so my intention is to cycle and freeze...and if I still don't have a surrogate, I'll do a transfer in the winter or spring and hope for the best.

And a final reason for postponing...apparently prilosec and I do not get along. After my June 30th surgery, my surgeon put me on ibuprofin, stool softener, and darvoset...and added in prilosec to ease my potential stomach upset from all the meds. After two weeks of meds, I started to have horrible GI effects. I assumed it was a C difficil infection and started flagyl ... 7 days later no change. I haven't been able to find a good GI in all of NYC who will see me this month. Three weeks later I'm still sick - not horribly, but having to dash out in meetings to use the bathroom gets old fast. Something similar happened to me in 2005 after another physician put me on prilosec and I was sick for 5 months while my primary care doctor ran test after test trying to figure out what was wrong with me. They did a lower GI, upper GI, U/S of my gall bladder, a radioactive study of my gallbladder, and then forced me to undergo a "fat collection test" (horrific). They never found anything. After 5 months, I went to see my primary care doctor one day but she wasn't in. A young doctor saw me instead. She noticed that I'd been running a low grade fever for months and said, "You seem to have an infection and I am going to treat you for an infection." She wrote me a Rx for Cipro and sent me home. Three days later I was better. Last week I requested my Rx history from this doctor to make sure that it was Cipro that she gave me. Sure enough. And the doctor that saved me? A GI that was filling in that day. So, I am going to start a 10 day course of cipro. It kills off both gram positive and gram negative bacteria, so I should be covered. I hate having to self treat when I have fabulous insurance. It's crazy that I can't see a GI in this huge city.

So, Dr. C encouraged me to cycle on. He felt I had no time to lose. True, but I also can't throw my last two cycle's worth of insurance away on a cycle where I have two follicles and might walk away without a single embryo. With everything going on, healing, the GI issues, not getting my meds in time, not having all my records to them in time, not having a remote doctor set up...I was overwhelmed. I didn't call them back. I was in a bit of a funk over it all considering everything.

Will next month be any different than this month?

Maybe, maybe not. Maybe this is all I will get having done the surgery? Perhaps the surgery was a mistake. I wonder. My meds finally arrived yesterday - a few new things that I haven't used before: cetrotide, estinyl (?). All tossed aside while I wait a few more weeks and hope that there's an improvement in my ovary output.

I got the green light from all doctors to use DHEA so it's being added into my mix.