11DP3DT: Waiting & Strategizing

No news yet. I think they typically start to do calls around 3PM EST. It's high noon. I know it's going to be bad news. A few cells in my body want to believe that, as a few of you have said, I'm one of those that HPTs don't work for. Or that my urine was too dilute.

Hope springs eternal. Many of us have drowned in that damned spring.

I ate my dexamethasone, my aspirin, but I have to walk down the street to refill my levothyroxin. I don't want to take another lovenox shot if I don't have to. My tummy has dark purple bruises that make the BF's kids squeal.

The BF and one of his kids are sick. The little one was screaming in pain from his throat last night. It was heartbreaking. He was in such pain that he vomited. I told his ex-wife that it looked like strep to me, I've had it plenty, and she argued with me that it wasn't. Not sure why she likes to argue with me over stuff like this. I was premed. She went to marketing school. I aced every unknown lab in organic chemistry. I was a protein chemist in an immunology laboratory. I'm not sure she has ever set foot in a lab. I truly believe that I would have made an excellent diagnostician had I gotten into medical school.

It was no surprise that the DH and the littler one just got diagnosed with strep not one hour ago with a rapid-strep test. I knew it. I told him to text the ex and let her know. I hate feeling so smug, but she makes me crazy when she argues anything science with me.

I've already set about cleaning every solid surface with lysol wipes as strep is my kryptonite. When I get strep, my immune system has a horrible time with it. I typically get a horrible psoriasis outbreak from it with patches on my scalp and back (I get a particular form called "Gutate Psoriasis" when I get strep). I'm crossing my fingers that the dark angel of strep passes over my throat and keeps going.

I stayed up til 3AM last night, driven as all hell by those negative HPTs, working on a spreadsheet of suitable gestational surrogates and wrote/posted an ad for myself. I need to start writing to these ladies fast. I found about 15 GS that seem interesting, but I need to shortlist to a reasonable number and start to aggressively work on this. I shudder to think of what this will cost me. I also shudder to think of not having a child if I delay and don't move fast.

I wonder if I need to take a month off after having done a very low stim cycle? That'll be my first call to the clinic when AF arrives. If I do, then I'll do an IVF retrieval that starts late December. I have one last try left with my insurance and it's going to be a full stim cycle, getting as many eggs as possible. These will be frozen or freshly transferred into a GS. There is no fucking way they are going into me, with or without his magic drugs that are supposed to fix my toxic uterus.

After this, I'll consider doing more low stim cycles if Dr. Czech can figure out anything new about my immune condition that would convince me that I should ever transfer something into me again. I know he's hopeful about his "controlled meds", but I'm outta time. I have a lengthy consult with him scheduled for December 6. At that point I'll be moving my immune treatment over to him from Dr. S in California. I'm also talking to Dr. KK's office as I'm interested in her ideas on Resistance Indices for uterine blood flow. I've stuck with Dr. S's office for reproductive immunology for 5 years. It hasn't worked for me. It's time to switch to see if someone else can turn up a new finding that will make a difference.

I sorta doubt it. Yesterday's bloodnurse asked if I'd done some "COX-something" test. I hadn't. But she looked at my list of meds, saw that I was taking lovenox, and said that even if I tested positive for it that I was already doing the prescribed treatment.

All this immune stuff might seem moot if I'm using a GS, but getting the immune issues under full control ensures that I'll get the best eggs out of me.

I don't truly believe that Drs. KK or Czech will find anything new that requires a new treatment but I'm all about contingencies.