CD5 - Feeling Apprehensive

CD5, stim day 4.

I'm not sure I want to go through with this cycle. Wish I could say more, but it's a cluster fuck beyond all compare.

Trust me on this one.

I'll shoot up my stims tonight, but I fear that tomorrow will be the end of this one.

CD4 - Do It Yourself LIT

Tired of flying to Mexico and doing that border crossing? Ever wanted to do your own LIT? Now you can.

$350 includes:

2 centrifuges (you could resell on ebay when you’re done or donate to a science class and take a tax break)

Centrifuge Tubes (for the last spin to get the pellet)

3ml Herparin Tubes for blood collection (Vacutainer – expired but they are OK to use)

Butterfly Syringes for withdrawing blood (Sterile, sealed, 30+)

Gauze pads

Alcohol pads

Tourniquet

Centrifuge tube stand (metal and Styrofoam)

Lactated Ringers (Might be expired now) – this is for washing & diluting the pellet. You can easily get fresh online.

Sterile Saline (enough for a few LITs) in 10ml syringes (ready to use)

Sterile Pipettes

Separation solution/media (fresh, not expired)

Instructions as copied from a medical journal on how to do this procedure. I'd love to give you mine but liability, ya know?

Use at your own risk. I did my own LIT after two trips to Mexico - it's fairly easy to do if you have a good lab background and my process gets the exact same results (or better). If not, keep going to Mexico.

Shipping definitely extra as those centrifuges are HEAVY.

CD2: The reluctant cycler

AF arrived in all her glory and here I am on CD2. Today was my baseline appointment with the dildo-cam. I drove the hour and forty-five minutes to the clinic way up north and paid my $15 copay. They wanted me to prepay the entire cycle before my baseline and I protested, "Can't we just make sure that I'm even going to cycle before I pay?" The receptionist agreed and smiled. She was nice.

They weighed me on the way to the room. I tossed shoes and sweater, trying to get anything off of me that would add weight. I hate the scale. And recently I've felt a bit heavy so I just wanted to avoid that entirely. I came in a few pounds lighter than my last visit. Weird. Maybe the scale needs calibration?

Escorted to the room, I waited yet another 20 minutes whilst sitting on the exam table, bleeding onto the pad they left me. At this point I realize my meter is running out in 20 minutes. I grabbed some towels to shove between my legs, wrapped the paper drape around me, and stuck my head out the door. And waited. Finally a nurse came by and said, "We're running behind. One doctor! You're next." I signed and said something about my meter running out in 20 minutes and could they please try to get to me...

Back on the table for another 10 minutes or so...they finally arrive. Comments went around about how much I appeared to be bleeding. "Uhmm...yes...you did say for me to come in on cycle day 2 and this is pretty much what it's like. Always. For the last 30-something years." Heh.

So the young girl doctor (not my usual RE) found 6 follies on the right, and a mere 3 on the left. I have a 12mm endometrioma (blood filled cyst) on the left ovary that has persisted for a few months now and will require surgery to remove should I ever want to go back down that route again). 9 in all. I should be pleased that at 44 I'm still making eggs, but I am a bit reluctant about trying again after having given up for so long. I really can't say why at this point but I have very specific reasons for my reluctance (the point is secrecy for the time being - as there is a chance that my partner's ex is reading this and looking for some sort of bait or weapon to bludgeon him with - wouldn't be the first time - so I write with a bit of caution these days. Just a bit.)

*snark*

Anyways, I paid my portion of the bill on my way out. $1356. I felt tremendously guilty that my portion was a meager 10%. I'm so used to paying cash for my IVF cycles that, finally having insurance, I felt awkward. But also elated at the same time that I wasn't breaking the bank to do this yet again. And get this: PGD and co-culture are covered by my insurance. As is cryofreezing. I think I have died and gone to IVF heaven.

So tonight's my first shot of Gonal F and medrol.

Let the good times roll.

Estrace Day 7Still no AF

Okay, AF is really due today - CD28 - I often get AF on CD27 so I'm wondering if the estrace is going to whack-out my cycle. I do notice that my skin is looking a bit sallow, I've lost my usual glow (f*cking estrogen) and that my libido is on the wane.

Lovely.

This is the part about IF treatments that I hate. I guess I should be thankful, though, that I am not using lupron in this cycle. That stuff was responsible for me freaking out and canceling my cycle when I cycled with Dr. Pompy two years ago.

Estrace Day 6Getting Impatient

OK...I started my estace 7 days past my ovulatory surge and here we are on Day 6 of these silly little blue pills.

Let's get this show on the road already. Where's AF when you need her?

Estrace Day 3

Hmm, anything to report? Well, my skin is breaking out, but I think that this started before I started to take the estrace. I'm feeling a bit pudgier, too, but I always feel like this towards the end of my cycle.

I'm feeling a bit guilty for not having done the health kick that I did in IVF cycle 1, but there's a part of me that thinks that I did everything conceivable on those first two cycles. And it didn't help me get pregnant. So why bother? The crack whores of the universe get pregnant without sucking down wheat grass juice every single day, so why can't I?

Then my rational self kicks in and says, "OK, it's ok to have some decaf, and soy, and sugar...but in moderation!" So I'm trying to not sweat the small shit this cycle.

We'll see how well this attitude serves me.

Estrace Day 2

So as I look at my cycle documents, it's clear that I'm on the "estrogen priming protocol". So my cycle looks like this:

• Watch for ovulation surge
  
• Start estrace 7 days later (3-20-9)
  
• Call clinic on CD1, 1st full flow day (this should be in about a week unless the estrace screws things up). Stop estrace on this day.
  
• Ultrasound on CD2
  
• Start stims evening of CD2 if all systems go. Twice daily dosaging:
  

  
  300iu Gonal
  2 vials Menopur

  
  
• CD7, 5 days after baseline, I do an estradiol blood test and ultrasound
  
• At some point unbeknownst to me Ganirelix will be added into my protocol
  
• Trigger
  
• Retrieval 36 hours later
  
• 5 day of Medrol starting day of retrieval
  
• Transfer 3 days later
  
• Progesterone in ethyl oleate daily
  
• 2 weeks of HELL
  
  And..by the way...I'm not doing anything special this cycle save for:
  
• Prenatals
• Fish oil
  
• Vit D
  
• Natural E
  
• Selenium
  
• Vitamin C
  
• Calcium
  
• Folgard/Methyl Folate cocktail
  
• Baby Aspirin
  
• Lovenox starting CD3
  
• Might do 30g of IVIg the day before transfer. Might as well since I have 30g sitting in my refrigerator!

And so it begins...

Started off the morning with a cup of decaf Starbucks and Estrace. I'm 7 days post my ovulatory surge...and am on the estrace til AF comes.

Then, so goes the protocol, I'm in for an U/S on CD2 and then stims start that night if all systems are go.

I'm sort of in disbelief that after having given up, here I am back on the horse.