Beta Burn

Less than 1.

Negative was pretty much what I reckoned it would be.

I had a (very?) faint positive 9 days past my 3 day transfer (embryo 12 days old on this date). It still shows up on the damned HPT to this day - so it's real enough - but I still wonder if the negative HPTs the day or two before were in fact negative (dilute urine?).

I knew it was going to be negative and had my good cry over the last few days. Today I just feel numb. When the call came in I felt bad for the nurse who called me as she was trying to be so sensitive towards how I felt and I just felt nothing. I was very matter of fact. I'm sure she has her share emotional, tear filled calls.

Anyways.

In typical fashion, and wasting no time, I moved directly into contingency plan "A": an MRI of my pelvis with contrast is scheduled for next Monday evening. It'll show where all the fibroids and endometriomas are located, as well as determine whether I actually have adenomyosis as has been only slightly suspected as a reason that I've never had implantation (since I was 16, that is). If I do have the dreaded adenomyosis, then I'm left to surrogacy if I still want to have a biological child. They are doing it with contrast at my request as I'd like for them to determine if I am getting adequate blood flow to the uterus and especially the right ovary that seems to have shut down entirely.

I also stopped by Willner Chemists (lovely vitamin/homeopathy shop in NYC) on my way home and loaded up on the supplements that CCRM is using on their patients these days:

Myo Inositol (4g/day, divided into 2 doses)
CoQ10 (800mg/day, divided into 2 doses)
3mg Melatonin (at night)

I wound up with Jarrow brand Inositol in a powered form - the helper at Willner said to just mix it into whatever it is that I'm drinking (water, juice, smoothie, etc). Sounds easy enough. Powdered is also a lot more economical.

I also read a bit that most people are deficient in magnesium (functions in fertility in some fashion) and that we should be taking calcium & magnesium in a 2:1 ratio (2 parts calcium: 1 part magnesium). So I found a nice pill form that met this need.

Another thing I've read about is that D3 is another supplement that is hard to overdose on. I've been on 2000iu, but Dr. Mercola (who I read with one eyebrow raised) suggests that we can do 4000-5000iu a day easily. In fact, the human body produces about 10,000iu of natural D in about 30 minutes of sun exposure. So, for people like me that are locked in an office all day (with pasty white skin), a healthy 4000iu of D3 a day won't hurt in the slightest, and will probably do some good.

The last thing I walked away with was two bottles of False Unicorn extract. The helper at the Chemists said that it's helped a lot of female customers conceive and carry. OK. I'm a sucker for a potion in a bottle: I bought two. He recommended a single dropper full, three times a day.

So, tonight dinner will be accompanied by a bottle of red, a bubble bath, and an early turn (a la melatonin) in as I've not been sleeping well with the progesterone turning my body temperature up so high that I wake up in a sweat every night. Tomorrow it's back to the grind of handfuls of supplements and fish oils as usual.

Peace out.